A Quick Party Playlist

Well, it's the end of a long, action-packed summer in Los Angeles and I'm headed back to school this week, which means that it's time to start getting ready to party. It also happens to be my senior year, which means that we are going to burn a motherfucker down. So, in honor of trying to solve life's problems by drinking your weight in box wine and cheap beer, here's a quick party playlist to get you started on the road to bad decisions:

1) Poison - Nothing But a Good Time: I know that I make a lot of fun of Bret Michaels (because, frankly, he's a ridiculous person who says things like "rock n roll is an insatiable bitch goddess"), but the king of soft-core metal has the right idea here. Bret gets extra credit for being diabetic and still partying like a rock star, as evidenced by his star turn on my favorite reality show, "Rock of Love." Low blood sugar can't stop this musical dynamo...but it can make his foot fall off.

2) Prince - Kiss/Raspberry Beret: I couldn't decide which of these two I liked better, so I put them both on the list. That being said, pretty much everything Prince does drips sex (and not "Sex and the City" sex, but dirty, nasty, baby-making sex), so I'm pretty sure that if you played more than one song of his, your party would turn into an orgy. Guess that's how they do in Minnesota...

3) Justin Timberlake - Lovestoned: As much as I hate to say that I'm a JT fan, it seems like the guy can do nothing wrong lately. Who knew five years ago that getting dumped by Britney Spears would be the greatest thing that ever happened to him? Not you, because you thought she was hot and he was kind of gay. Don't lie to me.

4) Young Jeezy ft. R. Kelly - Go Getta/R. Kelly - Ignition: How much do I love R. Kelly? So much that I'd let him pee on my sister (although she's pushing 18, so she might be a little too old/legal for my boy Kels). "Ignition" is a great non-stop innuendo-fest (the opening line is "Girl, please, let me stick my key in your ignition, babe" and it only gets better from there) but "Go Getta" is the more crunk-tastic of the two.

5) Timbaland ft. Keri Hilson - The Way I Are: I thought this was just a sweet song about loving somebody for their inner beauty until I found out that the chorus was about stripping. Still, I like this jam so much that I'm willing to overlook its grammatical incorrectness, which is saying a lot because I'm a nerd. Just for the record, though, I'm pretty sure that Timbaland has a hell of a lot more money than I do, and he could probably buy you flowers if he really wanted to. Sorry, Tim.