It's getting close....

Only a week and a half until my birthday --- so you know what that means!...I start planning my birthday (it's a big deal...I get an entire month, usually). Yes, I'm turning 20 in glorious white trash style. First, we'll be dining at a classy joint, you may have heard of it: Hooters. Then, we'll be treking to a karaoke bar, where I plan on singing 80s power ballads, and probably a lot of Britney.

So, in honor of my FANTASTIC birthday bash, I thought I should show what inspired me to choose karaoke in the first place. It's a clip from "Keeping the Faith." Enjoy!

Oh the anger!

So, I'm extremely angry right now. I feel like if this had happened to me over the usmmer, I would just be sad...but now I've moved past the year mark, and I'm just angry. And...I wish I could vent about it to this fun little blog, but...I feel like that would be counter productive to my life. So, instead, I'm going to pull a "High Fidelity" and do a top 5 angriest songs list:

5. Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff
4. Unwanted - Avril Lavigne (what?...don't judge me.)
3. Eminem - Kim
2. Godsmack - Awake
1. Bob Dylan - Masters of War (when in doubt: blame it on the man)

Yeah.....those will help. A LOT. That, and probably a very long singing session in the car tomorrow when I wake up.

GRRRR.

Hope this never happens to me.....

Last Friday, Courtney's job gave her a free copy of Knocked Up, and since then...we've watched it...I'm going to approximate...4 times?

I forgot how amazingly funny it actually was, and what made me love Seth Rogen...but really Paul Rudd (let's be honest)

But what's even better than the movie itself are the special features. Honestly, the title screen for the DVD plays a song called "Swing" by Savage, and plays an extended scene of the two of them drunkenly dancing at the club...I swear, we just put the title screen on for about 20 minutes and danced with them (hysterically laughing all the while). Not that this had any profound meaning of my life, or is necessarily blog worthy, but I had not laughed that hard in a REALLY long time. And I've also been bet that next time we go out, I have to do the entire dance sequence...Katherine Heigl style ("He's using the dice too much...it's really all he's got")

Also, check out the "line-o-rama" and the gag reel...because they are equally hilarious. My personal favorite is when the doctor screams at Seth Rogen with "Go to Korea!"

It's inappropriate, it's hilarious--what more could you need?

Definitely invest in a copy of this fantastic DVD! Favorite scene is below:



Now I'm off to a screening of Lars and the Real Girl -- hopefully it'll be equally as entertaining.

Only a bit sad

You know what's sad? ...when you've spent a month working on a song that describes your state of mind, and then you hear one that describes it so much better than you ever could.

My best friend recently burned a CD for me of a new broadway show in previews called, "I Love You Because" My favorite song in the entire show is called, "Alone" and it truly describes my state of mind for the past...I'd say 7 years (no...seriously).

Lyrics, go:

DIANE
Remember that night when I met you, when you both hung out here in the bar?
I said to my friend there I bet you, those two they won't make it very far!
He couldn't discuss any topic...he could've chosen: baseball, football, croquet.
So why'd he have to choose her?
What a lame, pathetic loser.
You don't need him anyway!

Alone you are better off--trust me it's true!
You don't need him there to always care about every little thing that you do.
Alone means that your life plans aren't always set in stone.
Trust me! --you're better off alone...right?

MARCIE
Yeah...Sure!

JEFF
Hey, you ready to go?

DIANE
This is my friend...uhh...Marcie. She's rediscovering single hood!

JEFF
WELCOME BACK! Maybe one night you were thinking, I'll stay in and give nichi a stab. Then again...I could just go out drinking until I puke in the back of a cab!

DIANE
People would say Marcie that's stupid..you are better than that!

JEFF
But hey! --now his opinion doesn't matter, go ahead and do the latter! You don't need him anyway! Alone you do want never what he wants instead--

MARCIE
Not up each night in a stupid fight--when the two of us should both be in bed.

JEFF and DIANE
Alone means you never swoon at the smell of his cologne...Cause that's just stupid...You're better off alone, right?

MARCIE
Yeah...stupid Old Spice!

DIANE
Alright? We're going to get going...good luck!

JEFF
Well, we work in a bar...We're pretty much therapists who ENCOURAGE you to drink!

MARCIE
One day I might land a meeting with a man who takes photos in France. I don't need someone begging and pleading, "Honey, stay and give our love a chance!" I'll go wherever I want to--I won't stay where I don't want to stay. I'll leave tomorrow or whenever, and I might just stay forever--I don't need him anyway!

Alone means I'll never be so blinded by romance. I can act on a whim, not have to check with him...like six or seven months in advance. Alone means I'm never hurt; this is what this night has shown. I think it's clear to see...I'm better off alone.

I need him anyway. More than any man I've ever known...Feeling hurt with him is better than feeling free alone.

God damned musicals. How true you are.

One day soon I will write an upbeat entry...I promise! --and have nothing to do with the male species WHAT SO EVER.

Must have blue eyes and love Star Wars

Let me start off this ever depressing rant with a little anecdote. The other night at an obscenely late hour where NO person should still be awake (except for maybe vampires), my best friend and I were gossiping about our lives (typical), and she told me that our friend [Nick] told her this:

"Did you ever notice how [Mary] is always awkward around me? ...I think it's because gay men are the only people that she can't seduce."

(the names of those parties involved have been changed to protect them...and me, cause...i was gossiping about them)

Then I had this marvelous epiphany about my own love life. My life is just like that -- but the opposite. I'm only awkward around those people that I could possibly seduce--that's why I always end up being in love with unavailable guys. Seriously, lets list it out: gay, 10 years too old for me (30 years, what what!), emotionally unavailable, still in love with their ex, living in a different country, spanish catholic/from an anti-semitic family...the list goes on.

My little sister has had this ridiculous list of requirements that her future has to have (she came up with it when she was about 6 years old). You know, like...he has to be older than me, taller than me, wealthy, want kids, blond hair, no curly hair, etc, etc. I always made fun of her for it, naturally, but now I'm starting to think that maybe if I had a list I could avoid the unavailable ones...Who knows?

So--I spent many a day thinking about my own personal requirements and kept digging myself a more and more ridiculous hole. After going to see The Jane Austen Book Club I realized that I only have to requirements:

1. Must have blue eyes
2. Must love Star Wars

And I'm going to ignore the fact that both of those requirements are present in my own father....maybe I should add a third requirement...Jewish? Have an accent? Oh well, I'll work on it. Anyway, here's my ideal man--too bad he's also unavailable (he's just a fictional character...sad times) Anyone out there in real life like this one? ...Bueller?

Pick Up Your Dancing Shoes!

Nothing to say, particularly, except that he's DREAMY. This album, "Call Me Irresponsible" is definitely his finest, and this happens to be my favorite song. I'd dance ANY day with Michael Buble. Enjoy!

Mad Props: A Tale of The Pickup Artist

Tonight I decided to give myself a night in. I've been spreading myself pretty thin--going out ever night, plus work and class all day long (who has a group project due the third week of classes?).

After seeing the delightful December Boys (which I'll probably talk about later, because...who doesn't want to watch D.Rad have sex on screen...ummm, I do! I do!) Anyway, I came home to curl up in front of some crappy VH1 celebreality and was sorely disappointed to find out that "The Pickup Artist" was on. Now, I love celebreality more than the average person (that MAY be an understatement), but "The Pickup Artist" is not my favorite. I'd only seen it once before tonight, and any show that's hosted by a guy named Mystery is just not alright with me.

Despite my hesitation, I decided to give it a go...they were down to the final three (also, what else is worth watching at midnight on a Thursday night...not much). I immediately developed an attachment to Joe D--a slightly awkward, slightly chubby, awkwardly bleached teddy bear...who just couldn't possibly ever get any game (according to Mystery's definition) cause he's just too nice. The other two, Kosmo and Brady I'd say are at equal medium sleaze levels.

And the goal of tonight's challenge couldn't possibly be any sleazier (or maybe it could..I might just have to watch the finale). Mission: pick up an exotic dancer at a strip club. ...Seriously. Like I had predicted, Joe D. couldn't handle throwing around "playful negs" as Mystery calls them (ex. a girl sits down next to Brady and he says, "Where are all the cute chicks tonight? ...I thought Tuesday was supposed to be a busy day here.") -- If you ask me, it didn't sound too playful, but Brady was the only one who ended up hooking up with an exotic dancer, so I guess it works...for that type of girl (yeah, he brought her out to the limo and the camera had to cut away...you go, Brady!) In fact, Mystery went as far as to say, "MAD PROPS! That's how you pick up an exotic dancer!" ...Obviously Mystery has had MUCH experience in that realm.

In the sad, sad conclusion Joe D. ended up going home. Sad, too--cause he was definitely my favorite. Although, because Mystery's goal is to turn the "Master Pickup Artist" into a master douchebag, I'm glad Joe D. got out when he did. Best of luck to you, Joe!

At the end of the night, I don't know how they did it, but I'm getting pretty excited to watch the finale on Monday. Damn it, celebreality--you've won again! Maybe I'll learn, and next time: I'll go out with my friends.