Mad Props: A Tale of The Pickup Artist

Tonight I decided to give myself a night in. I've been spreading myself pretty thin--going out ever night, plus work and class all day long (who has a group project due the third week of classes?).

After seeing the delightful December Boys (which I'll probably talk about later, because...who doesn't want to watch D.Rad have sex on screen...ummm, I do! I do!) Anyway, I came home to curl up in front of some crappy VH1 celebreality and was sorely disappointed to find out that "The Pickup Artist" was on. Now, I love celebreality more than the average person (that MAY be an understatement), but "The Pickup Artist" is not my favorite. I'd only seen it once before tonight, and any show that's hosted by a guy named Mystery is just not alright with me.

Despite my hesitation, I decided to give it a go...they were down to the final three (also, what else is worth watching at midnight on a Thursday night...not much). I immediately developed an attachment to Joe D--a slightly awkward, slightly chubby, awkwardly bleached teddy bear...who just couldn't possibly ever get any game (according to Mystery's definition) cause he's just too nice. The other two, Kosmo and Brady I'd say are at equal medium sleaze levels.

And the goal of tonight's challenge couldn't possibly be any sleazier (or maybe it could..I might just have to watch the finale). Mission: pick up an exotic dancer at a strip club. ...Seriously. Like I had predicted, Joe D. couldn't handle throwing around "playful negs" as Mystery calls them (ex. a girl sits down next to Brady and he says, "Where are all the cute chicks tonight? ...I thought Tuesday was supposed to be a busy day here.") -- If you ask me, it didn't sound too playful, but Brady was the only one who ended up hooking up with an exotic dancer, so I guess it works...for that type of girl (yeah, he brought her out to the limo and the camera had to cut away...you go, Brady!) In fact, Mystery went as far as to say, "MAD PROPS! That's how you pick up an exotic dancer!" ...Obviously Mystery has had MUCH experience in that realm.

In the sad, sad conclusion Joe D. ended up going home. Sad, too--cause he was definitely my favorite. Although, because Mystery's goal is to turn the "Master Pickup Artist" into a master douchebag, I'm glad Joe D. got out when he did. Best of luck to you, Joe!

At the end of the night, I don't know how they did it, but I'm getting pretty excited to watch the finale on Monday. Damn it, celebreality--you've won again! Maybe I'll learn, and next time: I'll go out with my friends.