Seriously?

I'm really trying to be positive here...but I'm positive that the world just doesn't want me to be happy anymore. If the world wanted me to be happy, it would have given me something to be happy about by now, don't you think?

This semester has probably been one of the roughest of my entire life (except for maybe the year we moved and my dad moved out).

It all started this summer with a family meltdown, that I don't feel particularly inclined to get into, but it led me to leave home and be homeless.

Until I found this amazing house with these amazing people and this amazing guy who is perfect for me...who conveniently didn't feel the same way. FUN TIMES.

Then, I was thrilled to come back to school and participate in recruitment...my absolute FAVORITE time of year -- and then we had our worst recruitment since rebuilding the house in the early 90s...yes, seriously. So, with house morale down about recruitment, I felt really good about running for VP Recruitment and changing things up.

So, naturally, on the day that my biological little sister tells me she wants to kill herself, my sorority little sister tells me she's going to run against me for VP Recruitment because, naturally, she can do a better job than me...after never being on the recruitment committee. Apparently people felt that way, too, because they just voted her in.

Thanks, Alpha Chi.

And on top of this, all I want to do is be happy. But it just seems like an impossibility. Especially now that I've finished Dr. Quinn I have nothing to do after 2 am. Clearly, my body doesn't let me sleep until at least 4.

Oh, and did I mention that my best friend just told me that he's graduating in May and possibly moving far far away?

I'm beginning to think that God enjoys watching my life as a very sad melodrama. Do you, God? Do you enjoy watching me cry every night??? Because I, for one, am getting pretty sick of it. Just give me some semblance of happiness...seriously, anything would suffice.

I just can't stand it anymore. Please give me something to be happy about.