Scale of Death!!!!!!: Week of August 6-12

THE SCALE OF DEATH!!!!!!

0. Mother Theresa

MILF Alert: 12 o'clock

1. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have a dream, too. It involves Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie and a big tub of jell-o. Fuck you, Brad Pitt.

2. Bono

What kind of name is Bono, anyway?

3. Scott Baio

Scott Baio is 45 and single. And totally fucking useless. Don't forget useless.

4. Napoleon

Little known fact: Napoleon's favorite movie was "Office Space".

5. Lindsay Lohan

Hey, Lindsay, I think I can see your vagina. You should really put that away, it's scaring Napoleon.

6. George W. Bush

George W. Bush: Dick, this is not a democracy, it's a cheerocracy. I'm sorry, but I'm overruling you.
Dick Cheney: You are being a cheer-tator, George, and a pain in my ass!

7. Ted Bundy

Gray skies are gonna clear up, PUT ON A HAPPY FACE.
Brush off the clouds and cheer up, PUT ON A HAPPY FACE.
Take off the gloomy masks of tragedy, it's not your style;
you'll look so good that you'll be glad ya' decided to smile!

8. Darth Vader

Jenn: I wish I had a Death Star.
Andrew: I've got your Death Star right here (points to crotch).
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

9. Martha Stewart

Martha and Hitler sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

10. Hitler

Hey Hitler, nice mustache. Asshole.

On the bubble: Jesus, Paris Hilton, Gandhi, the lady from the birth control commercials, your Mom, Bret Michaels, John Wayne Gacy, Flavor Flav, Bunnicula, Kimmy Gibler, Kramer, Vaginal infections, Osama Bin Laden, Michael Jackson